DECIDING vs Deciding

I want to talk about becoming a wildly-successful person.

I just got done reading this really great article in which a journalist sat down and interviewed a famous actress. This actress was crediting her longevity and wild success to her unwavering focus and overall tenacity. In the comment section underneath the article, some internet grump had remarked that that while that was all well and good to work hard, 'it was easier' for this woman to achieve her success due to her 'natural talent ', which the rest of us mere mortals don't possess--- so the rest of us shouldn't even attempt acting, or dancing, or singing, or performing, or anything else that requires ‘talent’.

I seriously thought my head was going to explode.

Yes, talent exists in this world. Some people are very good at doing specific tasks.

Yes, some people are naturally talented. Some people are just naturally better at tasks than others.

Yes, some of them have a leg-up on the rest of us due to personal contacts or connections, or opportunities, or funding, or whatever.

But two important points arose in my mind:

1) This actress’ success might have been imminent because of her 'natural talent', but was it ever guaranteed?? Would she have been as wildly-successful had she NOT decided to relentlessly pursue her dreams, but merely sat back and allowed her talent to carry her career?

2) Why does one person's success and achievements inevitably invoke someone else's insecurities and emotions?

There are many, many different ways to answer these questions (if you haven’t yet read the book Talent Is Overrated, I HIGHLY suggest you hop to it).

Personally, I think the answers lie in the power of DECIDING.

The longer I work in the performance industry, the more I notice a pattern. Recently-graduated people will start in the industry and enthusiastically work for a few years. I will see them at auditions and gigs and such, and they will express excitement at their new-found careers. They may or may not have gained the recognition and respect of their peers, but they surely intend to! They are filled with ambition and energy. Eventually, these bright young things will inevitably encounter a slump in their career.

It’s important to note that all careers naturally ebb and flow. I don't know of a single performer, male or female, who hasn't encountered at least one down-slump. But the first time a young artist encounters a career slump is incredibly important and revealing. At this point, the newly-graduated artists will do one of two things--either they push through the slump by exploring new things, learning new arias, attempting cross-over work, exploring whatever inspires them to keep trying and growing and working like hell, OR they quit the business altogether and spend their days following others’ achievements.

It’s important to note that neither of these decisions is inherently ‘wrong’--they are simply paths that singers are continually faced with taking throughout their careers. However, it IS important to note that I have consistently observed a distinct difference in the level of artistry, focus and excellence between the artists that chose to push through hardships and the artists that chose to avoid them. Singers who have decided to push their way through personal and professional hardships often have deeper levels of expression than their peers. Their focus and intention in performances is often clearer, and their commitment to their craft outshines their competitors.

What I think distinguishes the difference between these two camps of singers is the first camp’s ability to DECIDE. The difference between successfully achieving any goal and simply saying that you are going to reach an outcome is DECIDING.

I know what you’re thinking, “Emma, you just wrote that word twice and capitalized one of them to make it look insightful!”

I promise you, there’s waaaaay more to it than that, and it’s much harder than it looks.

I mean, if a singing career were easy, you would have accomplished The Big EXCITING Thing you had told yourself you would do a long time ago, right??

Deliberating between two outcomes is a natural part of our daily lives. We basically have been deciding important, life-changing stuff since we were all in Kindergarten, when we all chose between whether we wanted triangle or square shaped for our sandwiches.But DECIDING is not the same thing as making a decision.

See, when you make a generalized decision, you actually go through a four step process--you make a goal, you decide to reach it, you try stuff for a while and then judge the outcome of your efforts. We do this over and over again, usually without major consequences. Failure is part of the human condition, and nobody ever died from not following through on their New Year’s Resolutions! When you fail at something, you can usually just try again with another goal in mind. If you decide not to try again, you can instead learn to live with the less-than-expected outcomes of your original goals.

DECIDING is different. DECIDING requires more than the usual amount of commitment from yourself. DECIDING is a formalized pact between two parties, yourself and the Universe. It's a binding soul-contract that you make after CAREFUL consideration, one that claims that YOU WILL DO ANYTHING REQUIRED TO MEET YOUR GOAL.

Think of the difference between deciding and DECIDING as the difference between cutting your sandwich into shapes and devoting yourself to your ultimate purpose in life--one naturally requires a bit more gravitas than the other. When you DECIDE, you undergo a personal transition. You change your attitude and your outlook from ‘let’s try this and see if it works’ to ‘I am an unstoppable, completely-obsessed, hell-bent force of nature that will try EVERYTHING fifty times to MAKE it work’.

You will do whatever it takes to get what it is that you want.

You will work long hours and holidays. You will take crappy and mindless jobs. You will change jobs and cities and apartments often.You will have less of a social life or force yourself to have more of a social life. You will be less available or force yourself to make yourself more available. You will work with people you do not enjoy being around. You will learn seemingly-innocuous tasks, all to take maddeningly-tiny steps towards reaching your goal. DECIDING is a daily commitment that borders on the sanctity of marriage or the edges of madness --the kind we usually see reserved for super villains in comic books, a single, driving force that eradicates everything else.

DECIDING is not a force to play with lightly...but it IS a force that will inevitably change your life, for better or for worse. It requires you to level-up, to evolve without choice. Think of it as your own personal Pokemon evolution: you cannot DECIDE without natural consequences, or without opening yourself to new experiences

Jen Sincero, NYT best-selling author of You Are A Badass, says, "When you up-level your idea of what's possible, and decide to really go for it, you open yourself up to the means to accomplish it as well."

Which is a fancy way of saying when you make up your mind to be the type of person who does (insert here), you WILL BECOME THAT PERSON.

DECIDING is not going to be an easy process, as transformations are rarely easy. In order to transform your life, you're going to have to invest time and energy and resources into yourself. That might mean giving up your daily Starbucks to save some money for new headshots, or consciously changing your eating habits at every single meal to ensure that you're getting some veggies into your body, or taking the time to read something inspirational every day to encourage yourself to keep going, or choosing to not go out with your friends so you can practice your arias– whatever it takes. It's going to be uncomfortable and strange and new. And sometimes, the DECIDING process goes against a lot of what we are inherently taught about ourselves and what we feel we 'deserve'.

Ultimately, the belief that you can be, do, and have whatever you set your mind to accomplishing is crucial for success in professional performance. The ability to DECIDE to accomplish your goals is absolutely essential. The power and intensity of your focus as your pursue your goals with a fierce and unwavering dedication can (and WILL) change your career trajectory...and your life.

So how can you start DECIDING?

Take it one day at a time.

Despite what Hollywood would have us believe, personal success is never achieved overnight. It’s usually attained by a regime of small, consistent actions that require personal effort, attention and sacrifice.

Consider where you currently are, and where you want to be in six months’ time.

Then DECIDE to get there.

Physically map it out.

What is it going to take to get there?

How can you work on your goal everyday?

Make a series of small, consistent actions that you can do on a daily basis to recommit to your goal.

Take an extra thirty minutes to do that vocal exercise you always avoided.

Use your break to start exploring new rep options instead of social media.

Make sure you’re taking the time to feed yourself healthy foods and to drink enough water.

Be sure to take physical AND mental health breaks, so that you don’t overexert yourself on your quest for excellence.

One of the best things you can do to improve the world in general is to improve and challenge yourself on a daily basis. Set your goals high, really decide to go for them, and then – well, kick ass and take names! If you can't do it for yourself, tell everyone around you that you were doing it for the good of the world... because really, whether you know it or not, you are.

You CAN and SHOULD have whatever it is you so desperately claim to want--if only you DECIDE first, and then pursue it!!